(812): I tell myself every day I shouldn’t be friends with you

(812): I tell myself every day I shouldn’t be friends with you

(847): well as my mentor always said, “Don’t antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms.”

(847): well as my mentor always said, “Don’t antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms.”

(757): It’s a big world…..someone has to fuck it.

(757): It’s a big world…..someone has to fuck it.

thewholockedarmyinitiative said: Just found this blog shortly after marathoning the first 3 episodes of The Musketeers and I'm dying of laughter. Please never stop updating!

Thanks you <3 And I’ll hope you’ll have just as much fun with the rest of the episodes (already had since it took me ages to answer this)

assholesinwonderland said: I just found this blog and I'm so glad I did! The posts are hilarious and it's quickly becoming one of my favourite blogs!!

Awww…thanks

That’s something I always love to hear

celebration10 said: This is perfect. You are perfect. I wish I could make you naked-breakfast in bed or something. You deserve it

Thanks :D

(+66): Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special

(+66): Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special

(909): The 3 of us think it&#8217;s time to start drinking.(1-909): 3?(909): Me, myself and I

(909): The 3 of us think it’s time to start drinking.
(1-909): 3?
(909): Me, myself and I

(609): I thought you wanted to talk?

(908):What part of “Lets have angry sex” means I want to talk?

 (703): I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.

(703): I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.